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Author Topic: Jesters Table  (Read 22529 times)

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Offline Diggis

Jesters Table
« on: June 11, 2010, 04:58:39 PM »
This is the table for mocking your fellow man or woman. Please keep it friendly and civil.  I'll be posting a running commentary on the scores in here as the games are finished. 

And so far no one guessed both draws, although plenty picked one or the other.  Of course some muppets like myself didn't get either.  :'(

Offline Myself.or.?

Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2010, 05:46:41 PM »
Oh well, the pleasure of being in good company among fellow muppets.  ()stsfd() Yourself and Myself are just warming up the engine to show the other "experts" who's who in here (sounds like a good excuse?).
Apart from that and on a lighter note I'll have to say  :-[ :angrymore: &hlp :angrymore: &hlp  :'(  :'(
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Offline tooheys

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2010, 04:58:02 AM »
Looks like I'm joining the muppets  &mmm. And while my Kiwi friend is dishing it out  :D, I just might provide a fact or two:

SOUTH AFRICA V MEXICO



Rafael Marquez denied South Africa a dream start to their FIFA World Cup™ with a late equaliser for Mexico in a 1-1 draw in an absorbing Opening Match at Soccer City.

Carlos Alberto Parreira's hosts appeared on course for three points when Siphiwe Tshabalala fired them in front with a superb 55th-minute strike. But after Teko Modise had missed a clear chance to seal victory, Marquez rescued the draw that Mexico's first-half dominance deserved with a close-range finish 11 minutes from time.

South Africa's players were singing as they came down the tunnel before stepping out into a wall of noise inside Soccer City. But after referee Ravshan Irmatov blew the first whistle of these finals, it was Mexico who looked the team in tune. Familiar with a background din from their own Azteca Stadium, they made a positive start which might have yielded the earliest goal of any FIFA World Cup Opening Match as Alessandro Dos Santos nearly struck inside two minutes. Paul Aguilar delivered a low cross and when goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune failed to smother it, Dos Santos looked poised to bury the loose ball only for Aaron Mokoena to make a vital block.

Javier Aguirre's Mexico created a steady supply of chances as they dominated possession in the first half-hour. After Guillermo Franco had sent a header over from a corner, the lively Dos Santos threatened again when he surged upfield from the centre-circle before slicing a shot wide from the edge of the box. After 32 minutes Carlos Vela sent a dinked ball over the Bafana backline to Franco but he was foiled by Khune. When that pair next combined, Mexico got the ball into the net but Vela was offside as he turned in Franco's flick-on from a corner.

Once or twice South Africa’s interpassing almost opened up the Mexico rearguard only for the final ball to go astray. But it was not for nothing that South Africa entered this contest unbeaten in 12 games and home hopes rose before the break when Tshabalala whipped in a dangerous ball that Katlego Mphela just failed to get his head to. It was Tshabalala himself who made the breakthrough by concluding a four-man move in spectacular style ten minutes after the restart.

Latching on to a long diagonal through-ball by Kagisho Dikgacoi, he broke into the penalty box on the left before unleashing a superb left-footed shot high into the opposite corner. Soccer City exploded in celebration and after Khune had turned behind Dos Santo's rising shot, Modise could have put the game out of sight. He had already spurned one clear chance, albeit when ruled offside, when he broke through in the 72nd minute. Under pressure from Francisco Rodriguez, however, he failed to get the power on his shot to trouble Perez. The hosts paid for their profligacy when Andres Guardado picked out the unmarked Marquez at the far post and he gave Khune no chance with a near-post finish. Even then South Africa might have snatched a winner only for Mphela's left-foot strike to rebound to safety off the post.

FRANCE V URUGUAY



An opportunity to seize the initiative in Group A was missed at Cape Town’s Green Point Stadium as France and ten-man Uruguay served up a drab goalless draw. The earlier stalemate between South Africa and Mexico had presented their section rivals with the chance to claim top spot, but neither did enough to secure three points in a scrappy encounter in which Nicolas Lodeiro picked up the tournament’s first red card.

France’s difficulties at UEFA EURO 2008 and during FIFA World Cup™ qualifying have enabled them to sneak almost unnoticed into this competition, yet they reminded everyone of their considerable potential with some slick early play. Predictably, Franck Ribery was at the heart of the best of their attacking forays, and only Sidney Govou will know how he failed to convert the Bayern Munich winger’s inviting low cross after eight minutes. Ribery looked to have laid on a certain goal, with Govou inside the six-yard box when the ball arrived, but the Lyon player’s right-foot attempt lacked conviction and the ball trickled wide of the far post.

Les Bleus remained in the ascendancy, and Nicolas Anelka – who endured a frustrating evening – might have done better than head over from an intelligently weighted Yoann Gourcuff cross. The presence of Diego Forlan ensured that Raymond Domenech’s side were never able to rest easy, though, and the Atletico Madrid striker underlined his capabilities on 16 minutes with an effort out of nothing. Stepping inside from the left beyond William Gallas, Forlan unleashed a powerful right-foot drive that was heading for the net before Hugo Lloris got across to make a fine save.

Nonetheless, this was an isolated moment of concern for a French side who remained firmly in control, with Abou Diaby dictating the midfield pace. Gourcuff was also impressing, and with 18 minutes played he forced an alert save from Fernando Muslera with an audacious free-kick attempt on goal, inches from the left touchline. The game fell into something of a lull as half-time approached, but the tempo picked up again after the break, with Forlan blasting over after sneaking in between Gallas and Bacary Sagna. There was precious little penetration, however, and the growing frustration was summed up 12 minutes after the restart when Jeremy Toulalan tried his luck from all of 35 yards, bringing a comfortable save out of Muslera.

France introduced Thierry Henry in an attempt to re-establish their early superiority, but it was Uruguay who should have snatched victory, with Forlan wasting the best chance of the half, blasting wide from an unmarked position 12 yards from goal. Ultimately, however, La Celeste were happy to hold out for a point after second-half substitute Lodeiro earned a second yellow card for an ugly lunge on Sagna.

Offline xxdita

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2010, 05:54:43 AM »
This is what I don't understand... why even allow a draw? That's satisfying to no one. Give em extra innings... quarters... whatever they are.

And I said I'm with the JestARR party, where we'll sit and drink real beer (Pabst Blue Ribbon), and heckle all you foreigners and your draws, while we talk about real football. ESPN's showing "The Greatest Moments in BSC Tostitos Fiesta Bowl History" on the flat screen by the dart board. So ya'll shush so we can hear it, k?

Offline tooheys

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2010, 05:58:30 AM »
I don't know Nate, I came across something more interesting the other day. Gals playing American football in skimpy outfits. They have there own league and regular airtime. And they don't need padding  ::)

Offline xxdita

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2010, 08:34:18 AM »
Dave, I doubt you could handle yourself against the ladies of the Lingerie Football League. But I imagine you'd forget about this silly soccer business.  $%Grinno$%

Offline WC_EEND

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2010, 11:01:07 AM »
There was something interesting in the paper today: Cannavaro said that, and I quote
Quote
Italy is a ridiculous county, and I mean a truely ridiculous county
The reason was that he was critisised for laughing when his teammate Marchisio turned Italy's national anthem into a political complaint.

Final comment by the newspaper itself:
Quote
being one of the top players of a country you don't even like, a bit ironic, isn't it?
RIP Adrian (adroman), you were a great friend

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Offline wouanagaine

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2010, 11:51:58 AM »
France vs Uruguay was pathetic to watch

We ( france ) have again not scored ( even if we have lost, I would have better like the team scored ). However as the team want to score with entering the goal with the ball it is quite hard :). and as no one is entering the 16m zone it is even harder. Apart from Gourcuff free kick, Uruguay goal keeper hadn't got many things to do ....

I doubt we can score in the 2 next matches, meaning we won't see the next round

The good news : Diaby was really impressive

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Offline tooheys

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2010, 05:14:29 AM »
Korea Republic V Greece


Korea Republic claimed the first victory at the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa™ as a goal early in each half made it a disappointing start for Group B opponents Greece.

The South Koreans were the dominant force for virtually all of the first half in the Port Elizabeth Stadium although they had to withstand some initial pressure from Greece with Vasileios Torosidis seeing an effort fly off target. The same player should then have scored following Georgios Karagounis's corner but he put a decent chance wide from nine yards.

Huh Jung-Moo's side shrugged off that scare and proceeded to pin their opponents back, and with only seven minutes gone they forged ahead. A free-kick from near the left-hand corner flag found the blue shirts all at sea and at the far post Lee Jung-Soo pounced to sidefoot home and become his country's fastest-ever scorer at a FIFA World Cup.

Greece, European champions in 2004, never recovered from that setback and Korea smelled the chance of further goals with Manchester United's Park Ji-Sung always a danger and Yeom Ki-Hun also pulling the strings. In the 28th minute the South Koreans, fast-raiding and adroit with their ball control, fashioned an outstanding chance to double their advantage as Park Ji-Sung slid a lovely ball into the feet of Park Chu-Young.

Park Chu-Young was clear of the last man but just as he attempted to seal his strong run with a scoring finish, a combination of the back-pedalling Loukas Vyntra and Alexandros Tzorvas denied him, the goalkeeper making a vital intervention to deflect the ball over. Greece had to change their approach and Otto Rehhagel decided to take off captain Karagounis at the break with Christos Patsatzoglou coming in. However with another goal seven minutes into the second period, Korea put the game as good as out of reach.

It was a disaster for Greek defending as they gave possession away inside their own half through Vyntra and were left helpless as Park Ji-Sung took ruthless advantage. There was strength, control and determination in his run as he tore into the penalty area before burying a left-footed shot past Tzorvas to become only the second Asian player to score in three different FIFA World Cups, having also found the net in 2002 and 2006.  It should have been three minutes later as Park Chu-Young dashed between defenders to meet a cross from the right but he could not keep his header down.

Greece, who had not managed a goal in any of their three previous FIFA World Cup games – all of which had been lost in 1994 – had no option but to give everything to try and claw back the deficit. They looked to Theofanis Gekas, who with ten goals was the leading scorer in European qualifying, to inspire an recovery, and he tried an ambitious overhead kick which went over. Soon after Pantelis Kapetanos scooped the ball over as it was drilled in from the left while Gekas forced Jung Sung-Ryong into a fine save at the end. But there was no dispute that Korea were good value for their three points.

Offline tooheys

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2010, 05:34:44 AM »
Argentina V Nigeria



Argentina joined Saturday's earlier winners Korea Republic on three points in Group B with a 1-0 victory over Nigeria at Johannesburg's packed Ellis Park. Gabriel Heinze scored the game's only goal with a diving header from a corner in just the sixth minute, although the two-time FIFA World Cup™ winners would have added more if not for the heroics of Nigeria goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama and their own wasteful finishing.

As early as the fourth minute, FIFA World Player of the Year Lionel Messi burst through the Super Eagles' defence and set up Gonzalo Higuain in front of goal, but the Real Madrid man blazed wide of the target. Two minutes later Messi tested Enyeama from 20 yards out, but the Israel-based goalkeeper saved well with a dive to his right. However, from the resulting corner, Heinze ran free of his marker and made no mistake with his header from the penalty spot. The early goal sent coach Diego Maradona into raptures on the sideline, and surely he must have thought there was more to come.

Messi was a constant thorn in the side of the Nigeria defence, and in the 18th minute he cut inside and curled a left-footed shot towards goal from 25 yards out. But Enyeama was up to the task with a fine save at his post. Three minutes later, the Albiceleste threatened again but Higuain blasted his point-blank shot right into the goalkeeper. Enyeama was the Nigerian hero another time shortly after, denying Messi with his fingertips when it seemed like his curling shot would sneak in.

The introduction of Obafemi Martins early in the second period sparked Nigeria into life. The Wolfsburg forward showed his pace on the hour to latch onto a through-ball and play in Sani Kaita but he blasted over from 25 yards out. As the match opened up, Argentina found more room in the attacking third. In the 65th minute, they counter-attacked quickly to find themselves four-on-two and bearing down on the Nigeria defence. Carlos Tevez slid the ball dangerously into the middle, Angel Di Maria let the ball carry on to Messi, but the Barcelona superstar hit his shot agonisingly wide. Messi then set up Higuain for another opening, but Enyeama was again the victor in that head-to-head duel.

In the 71st minute, Nigeria left-back Taye Taiwo blasted a shot just wide of the post from the edge of the area, injuring himself in the process. His replacement, Kalu Uche, had the best chance of the night for the Super Eagles in the 83rd minute, but he failed to keep down an effort from 12 yards out despite being left unmarked. Nigeria next face Greece on 17 June in Manguang/Bloemfontein, when Argentina and Korea Republic will battle it out for top spot in the group at Johannesburg’s Soccer City.

Offline tooheys

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2010, 05:38:29 AM »
England V USA



A terrible mistake from England’s Robert Green gave USA a share of the spoils in Group C’s opening match played in front of a passionate crowd in Rustenburg. The goalkeeper, given the nod by Fabio Capello to start the match ahead of David James and Joe Hart, allowed Clint Dempsey’s 25-yard drive to slip through his grasp, giving last year’s FIFA Confederations Cup finalists a deserved share of the spoils.

The game had begun so well for England, who enjoyed an ideal start to their FIFA World Cup™ campaign, taking the lead with just four minutes on the clock. Frank Lampard found Emile Heskey who played a perfectly-weighted ball to Steven Gerrard and the skipper made no mistake with an intelligent finish past Man of the Match Tim Howard with the outside of his right foot.

From then on, however, USA gradually got more of the ball and a grip of the game. They fired their first real warning when Landon Donovan’s teasing cross from the right was headed wide by Jozy Altidore. Oguchi Onyewu also glanced wide a header, again from a Donovan set-piece, and the LA Galaxy man himself tested Green with a curling 25-yard effort which swerved just wide of the upright.

If USA seemed not to be enjoying any luck, they got their deserved equaliser in fortunate fashion five minutes before the break. Dempsey’s shot appeared to be straightforward enough to handle, but Green’s failed attempt to claim the ball drew them level. It was a horrible mistake by the England goalkeeper – one which he immediately acknowledged - but one which England ultimately failed to recover from.

The Three Lions upped the tempo in the second half and Emile Heskey spurned a good chance to put them ahead – firing straight at the keeper after being put clean through by Aaron Lennon. Lampard stung the palms of Howard with a long-range effort and Glen Johnson also snatched a shot when well placed. Green went some way to atone for his earlier error when he pushed Altidore’s shot onto the post after the pacy striker had powered past substitute Jamie Carragher down the left.

As the half wore on, Wayne Rooney began to find more space and consequently his influence on the game increased. First he headed over from a Gerrard cross and then a quickly-taken free-kick almost caught Howard out, but the ball flashed wide of the far post. The No10 also set up Shaun Wright-Phillips in a fantastic position, but his shot lacked conviction and Howard was able to make a comfortable save.

With the clock ticking down, both managers introduced striking substitutes in the hope of a late winner, but a winning goal failed to come. With such a fearsome rivalry between the sides, there was a feeling of anti-climax at the final whistle, but there is still plenty to play for at the FIFA World Cup.

Offline tooheys

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2010, 05:43:54 AM »
And of course one last pic. Always something a bit odd that gets captured. SO if you have a suitable caption, let it be known right here. And if you see a funny/peruliar pic from the world cup feel free to post it here.

« Last Edit: June 13, 2010, 05:46:59 AM by tooheys »

Offline Diggis

Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2010, 02:20:24 PM »
Right, after 10 games we have 4 people leading on 6 points:

Art
maciex
TTC
TmiguelT

with a few people on 5 and a lot on 4.  Once the round's over I'll upload a PDF with the current standings to the first post of this thread.

Offline BarbyW

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2010, 08:33:30 AM »
Caption for Dave's picture:

Please breathe into this bag, sir.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened. TP



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Offline Diggis

Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2010, 01:34:03 PM »
Well, the first round of games are over, every team has played and we've had some interesting results.  I've attached a PDF to the post with the table and results in it so far.

A quick recap for everyone though:

Barby and The_Hutt lead on 9 points each.

6 members follow on 8 points.

An honourable mention goes to our very own Bar Manager Tooheys who has a very respectable 2 points. and he's lucky to have those. (make sure you thank the All Whites for giving you a draw Dave  :D )
« Last Edit: June 16, 2010, 01:38:36 PM by Diggis »

Offline art128

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #15 on: June 16, 2010, 03:52:50 PM »
Caption for Dave's picture:

Please breathe into this bag, sir.

Ahaha, nicely found, Barby !  :thumbsup: &apls
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Offline TmiguelT

Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #16 on: June 16, 2010, 05:14:33 PM »
@ Diggis: According to the table, i have 8 points but i was carefully checking it and i have to have 9 points..  ()stsfd()

This was mine match predictions:
South Africa V Mexico : draw ( 1 point )
Uruguay V France : France to win ( No points )
Argentina V Nigeria :Argentina to win ( 1 point )
Korea Rep V Greece : Korea to win ( 1 point )
England V USA : England to win ( No points )
Algeria V Slovenia : Slovenia to win ( 1 point ) ( there is a point missing here )  $%Grinno$%
Germany V Australia : Germany to win (1 point )
Serbia V Ghana : Draw (no points )
Netherlands v Denmark : Netherlands to win ( 1 point )
Japan V Cameroon : Japan to win (1 point )
Italy V Paraguay : Italy to win ( no point )
New Zealand V Slovakia  Slovakia win ( no point )
Cote d'Ivoire v Portugal  Portugal win ( no point )
Brazil V Korea DPR  Brazil win ( 1 point )
Honduras V Chile  Chile win ( 1 point )
Spain V Switzerland  Spain win ( no point )

so i gotta have 9 points total  :thumbsup:

Offline Diggis

Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #17 on: June 16, 2010, 05:54:48 PM »
You are indeed correct TmiguelT.  :thumbsup:  I had made a small error in the spreadsheet.  New one attached.  And slight change of order:

Leading with 9 points:
The_Hutt
Tomas Neto
TmiguelT

Close behind is Mrtnrln with 8 and 6 others on 7.

Offline TmiguelT

Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #18 on: June 16, 2010, 06:49:02 PM »
You are indeed correct TmiguelT.  :thumbsup:  I had made a small error in the spreadsheet.  New one attached.  And slight change of order:

Leading with 9 points:
The_Hutt
Tomas Neto
TmiguelT

Close behind is Mrtnrln with 8 and 6 others on 7.

Superb  :thumbsup:

Offline MandelSoft

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Re: Jesters Table
« Reply #19 on: June 17, 2010, 01:41:46 AM »
8 Points! Seems I can predict some matches right too  ;)
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